I keep copious archives on my PC — the only place in my life where a search engine and alpha files make things accessible. While doing some spring cleaning in that domain, I came across a piece that Patricia Fleming, Ph.D. wrote a couple of years ago. It’s called Welcome Your Anger’s Gifts to You:
After taking action to prevent yourself from doing something you’ll regret later on, open yourself to the gifts of your anger. My anger, for example, gives me these gifts:
A. Vitality: I am alive. I feel the vitality in my body.
B. Agency: I am ready to go into action.
C. Self-respect: I feel that I am a good and worthy
person, deserving good treatment.
D. Engagement: Let me at it. I am going to handle this.
E. Capability: I can do it. I can handle this.
F. Valor/Heroism: I stand up for what is right; I champion what needs protection
G. Courage/Boldness: I am brave
I once thought that resilience was the answer to everything. If you could take the blows that life dealt you and bounce back, you had overcome the situation – whatever it was. Well, life has made me aware that absorbing some blows builds muscle. However, there are times when the breaking point has been reached and rearing back and letting it all go is far better. Charles Downey explains the health implications of hidden emotions in Anger: Don’t Put a Lid on It. When the essentials are at stake and who you are is far too high a price to pay for maintaining harmony, get angry!
